Wife Wants A Threesome (What you should do)

Wandering late-night thoughts and sharing too much after an evening of drink, the topic usually comes up between couples in one way or another. Could we have a threesome? Would you have a threesome? These thoughts ebb and flow through marriage and they are completely normal.

Sometimes these thoughts vanish just as quickly as they came but sometimes they stick around and it becomes apparent that one of you definitely wants a threesome. So, what do you do? well, I am here to share everything you need to know and do to make this fantasy become a reality, what to think, how to behave, and how to even process this fantasy.

So, Your Wife Wants A Threesome?

ripped paper with text showing the research on how threesomes and group sex are one of the most popular sexual fantasies. Under the ripped paper is an image of two men dressed smartly sitting on a sofa with a woman on her knees unbuttoning their trousers.

Multi-partner sex has been voted one of the most popular sexual fantasies, it is usually somewhere in the top five of all sexual fantasy poles, so it’s not unusual for your wife to want to have a threesome, and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Your wife seeking a threesome is her wanting to open up to her sexual thoughts and desires, it can be a lot of fun (if done properly) and it is just another way for you to grow your marriage and experience something new together.

Why Does She Want A Threesome (Her Motives)

This is the question on most people’s lips when they first find out that their partner wants to try out a threesome. They question their motives and some can’t understand why their partner would want to jeopardize their relationship, it’s good to know that there are a plethora of reasons as to why somebody would want a threesome and these are just a few of the most popular motives:

  • Your wife could be bi and wants to explore that part of herself.
  • Maybe she gets off on the idea of you being with another woman (cuckquean).
  • Does she want to experience two men inside her at once?
  • Perhaps she wants to tick this off of her bucket list
  • Maybe she wants to try someone new, with your permission.
  • Does she want to feel desired by someone new?
  • There’s a chance she just wants to feel like a slut!

Ask her, talk to her and open up to her about her reasons and go from there. Create a safe space, don’t be judgemental, and remember it’s important that you’re on board with her reasons too, otherwise, you may be faced with regret (more on that further below).

There are good reasons for wanting to try a threesome and then there are the bad…

This is why it’s really important to understand why your wife wants a threesome and what is laying beneath those reasons.

There is a chance she has found someone she wants to sleep with and is doing this as a way to get permission. This is quite rarely the case but it’s definitely something to look out for (this counts even if you’re reading this as any gender).

It’s not always a red flag, but wanting a threesome should be more for the threesome experience and less for the person it’s with, you should be attracted and want the person you’re having a threesome with but, it shouldn’t be an: ‘I’d only do it if it was with [persons name]‘, only wanting a threesome with a particular person is a red flag and should be discussed.

One quick thing: Sometimes in sex, we will mention people we know and we will play around with the idea of fucking someone we know, it’s hot, but it isn’t serious and we do have boundaries.

Are You Doing Something Wrong For Your Wife To Crave This?

The answer to this is usually a strong ‘no’ but there are times when this is the case. Maybe she feels unsatisfied or maybe she wants more from your sex life without actually losing you. It’s so important to talk about these things and get to the bottom of it all before you embark on any kind of threesome adventure.

The two most popular types of threesomes are as follows and both come with their own positives and risks:

Wife Wants To Be Shared With Another Man

image of a woman between two men sitting on a sofa with a black box with text inside explaining how common mfm threesomes are.

This is one of the biggest threesome fantasies for a lot of women and men. Only do this type of threesome if you get off on the idea of your wife being with another man. That goes for threesomes but it also goes for exclusively sharing your wife with another man too.

I have shared my girlfriend loads (you can read the story here), I love it, however, I’d never recommend doing this type of threesome if you aren’t as excited as she is if not more about her being with another man.

I personally get off on the idea of:

  • Seeing my girlfriend with another guy
  • Seeing her take someone who has a bigger cock than me
  • Seeing her cum hard with someone else
  • Fucking her with someone else and both pleasuring her body
  • The feeling of double penetration and seeing her take two cocks (I mean DP feels really good for her, she explains how good DP is for women here.

Write down what it is that gets you off about another man joining you both in the bedroom, the pros, the cons, the wants, and how it would feel for you both, make sure you’re both 100% on the same page and if it doesn’t feel right, talk about it.

Wife Wants A Threesome With Another Woman

Image of two woman in stockings with text overlaying that explains fmf threesomes and how they are harder to have than mfm threesomes.

If you’re going to go ahead and pick a two-women threesome, my advice would be to let your wife do all of the pickings, state your preferences and stay out of it until it’s time to meet, jealousy can be a major factor.

You would think there would be fewer issues when sharing with another woman, but there can be just as many emotions if not more and if done wrong can be painful for everyone involved.

At the same time, it’s usually safer emotionally for a guy to have a two-woman threesome, as you will not have the competitive aspect that you might have with another man. It’s also important to note that your wife could be doing it to explore her sexuality and this isn’t a bad thing, but it can unlock a lot of emotions and cause issues for all parties.

The Truth About Having A Threesome (You Need To Know This)

Red triangles with text that has a warning about threesomes and how jealousy, boundaries and communication are a must for a successful threesome

This is really important to know, as much as threesomes are magical and incredible experiences, being informed about the ifs and buts is really wise and completely recommended by somebody who has been doing this for a long time and has seen everything. So many people jump into this with their eyes closed and have bad experiences, so if you’re educated about the topic, you’re going to have a much better ride.

Emotion, Angst & Jealousy

Emotions are emotions, experiencing them is a good thing and completely human. You could think you’re fine, have an amazing threesome and then bang you’re hit with loads of emotions and end up having an argument with your partner.

This is normal, these emotions need to be felt and the good news is a good night’s sleep, and a few conversations will make you feel better.

Jealousy is a really common emotion, in fact, it can still happen to me now. Understanding why you feel a certain way and talking to your partner is the key to resolving the issue and it’s safe to say, you will feel jealousy at some time.

Boundaries and Understandings

Creating boundaries and understandings is so important, make sure you both highlight what you do and don’t want during and after your threesome, do not cross those boundaries, and understand why your partner may feel a certain way. This may take practice and you may make mistakes along the way but circling back and re-instating these two things will ensure you have the best threesome experiences.

Exploration and Growing Sexually

Let’s say you get one life to live, you don’t need to have multiple sexual partners, but some would like to explore themselves sexually and live their best sexual life. Having a threesome allows you to explore with your partner, enjoy sex together and have a new wave of pleasure rippling through your relationship.

It Is Not For Everyone (but everyone can try)

If you have good communication with your partner, you are doing this all for the right reasons, and have had some good, deep conversations about the whole thing with your wife, you should be okay to try it.

I say ‘should’ because of course, stuff can still go wrong.

However, if you do all of the above, even if you hate the experience then you can communicate, learn from it and tick it off the list of things you wanted to try, and hopefully move on to something you enjoy more and put it down to experience.

The Wrong First Threesome

After speaking to a lot of people who are in the swinging lifestyle most of the success comes from a good first time. This shouldn’t put pressure on you to make it impossibly good but it should make you make sure of your desires, how on the same page you both are, and the rules that have been put in place.

Having a successful first threesome will pave the way for more and even if you both don’t want to try it again, at least it went well. It’s all about communication and making sure you are both coming from a good place.

Trust Your Gut (Her Motives)

You know your partner best and you probably know deep down the risks, the truth of what could happen, and what they might be capable of. So, if your gut tells you something, listen to it.

Ask The Questions You Want To Know

If you are worried it’s for the wrong reasons, ask. You should be able to ask anything (I always say ask and talk through every scenario beforehand), asking these questions will help you see the true reasons they want to do it. Again, when you have the answers, follow your gut.

Will It Hurt Your Marriage?

This question is the reason a lot of couples hold themselves back from having a threesome, they are worried it will damage something that’s already good and they are scared to take the risk.

The good news is that loads of couples have threesomes so you are not alone in doing this. I’d argue that threesomes are the safest way to open up a relationship as you’re both satisfied and are together through every step. You’re both also present and can stop it at any time, you get to pick the right person and you go through the experience together.

Emotional growth will happen naturally and so long as you keep communication open and boundaries set, no matter if you like it or not, it shouldn’t hurt your relationship.

What Will The First Threesome Feel Like?

It’ll be filled with anxiety and you will be nervous but if you have communicated well and chosen the right person for you both, it will be amazing, euphoric, and fill you with a feeling of excitement that you have never felt before.

For me, I was filled with nerves, I was worried I wouldn’t get erect, I was scared it would be nothing like I had imagined and although I did have anxiety and I did second guess my every movement, it was amazing and I wouldn’t change the experience for a thing.

Everyone will have a different outcome but nerves are normal, apprehension is normal, and feeling a little out of sorts afterward is completely natural as well. The sex though is something you won’t ever be able to put into words.

Do you Want To Go Ahead With It? Now What?

an illustration of where to start if you want a threesome with 8 tips.

If you are ready to go ahead and embark on this exciting and incredible new journey, there are a few things that you now need to do. Jumping straight in with the first person you find, is a bad idea and so follow these steps to start you off on something amazing…

Simulate Sharing Your Partner First

I know it sounds strange, but it works. It gives you an incredible insight into what it’s going to feel like and even scratches that itch for some people enough so that they don’t even feel like they need the real thing.

We created this big guide that will show you how to have a threesome with your partner using advanced sex toys and roleplay.

This works better for Male, female, and male threesomes, but there are a few tricks for female, male, and female threesomes too, so be sure to check that out!

Make Sure To Take Things Real Slow

I know you may want to rush into things but slow and steady is the ideal way to do this, especially if you have never had a threesome before.

Roleplay the fantasy out: Wear wigs, use a penis extender, get into character and really roleplay out what you want to happen. Turn off the lights and have some fun, it’ll spark some interesting emotions and give you a nice push in the right direction.

Getting things organizes: See how it makes you feel, usually, the organizing will unearth a lot of the bad or good emotions. Talking to new people, looking at hotels to book, and get yourself prepared for the whole thing.

Dating site sexting: Next, make sure to flirt and sext with people online and see how it makes the both of you feel. Are you filled with jealousy? does it make you uncomfortable? does it make you excited? Do this with different people and take turns flirting and sexting.

Webcam sex: If you feel right, try having webcam sex with a stranger, maybe do it solo with one of you watching or both together (make sure you don’t show your faces to keep things private). You can use Skype, video calls, or adult dating sites with incorporated webcam features to achieve this.

Soft Swap: The first time you share you could try a soft swap during an MFM threesome (male, female, male). A soft swap means doing everything except for penetration, so oral, handjobs, kissing, etc. This will give you all the emotions and is still a lot of fun, your wife can jerk you and the other guy off, give you both blowjobs, etc. With an FMF threesome, this could mean only kissing, making out oral, and no penetration.

The Right Person

Finding the right person can be hard, it can sometimes be the hardest part of the journey for a lot of couples.

If you can, avoid doing it with a best friend or close friend. Sometimes it works out, but it can sometimes ruin a friendship and isn’t worth it. Tinder is a good place to find willing participants but I would say that adult friend finder is our favorite for threesomes as you will find a lot of like-minded people on the site, who know what they are doing.

Communication Before, During, and After

It’s key to communicate and be open enough to talk before, during, and after the threesome.
Picking the right person for the threesome is someone who will be okay with you not knowing what you’re really doing and you need to feel comfortable enough to chat and talk about things during. Don’t worry about killing the moment, just be open and honest.

Staying Safe, Healthy, And Happy

Keep yourself safe when meeting people, use condoms, and ensure you all get STI tested if you’re not using protection. Consider birth control, know the risks, and whether or not you should meet this stranger in your own home or in a hotel out of town.

Although it seems extreme, marriage counseling is also a great way to fix any issues that may occur after or before your threesome.

If you have any questions or anything else I can help you with on your threesome journey, let me know down below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *