A denied orgasm can be frustrating. Let’s face it, all of us have sex for one reason and it isn’t a reproduction. The goal of the game is to cum, orgasm in the most intense way we can and we always thrive for the bigger and better orgasms.
Well, in some cases, that doesn’t necessarily have to be always like that. Some men, women, and couples opt to have a different approach to the situation. I am one of those women and I will try to explain what I like and what I do in my sex life that drives the men around me insane.
I am pretty open about everything I do and I am always straightforward with the guys I sleep with. They know my kinks, my fetishes and we get along pretty well most of the time. I say most of the time because my main thing is orgasm denial and sometimes that is a bit too extreme for some guys I’m with so we don’t go that far.
What Is Tease And Denial All About?
Tease and denial have been in the sex life of humans for a long time. It is nothing new, but those two terms are quite different from one another. When I was young, I used to tease boyfriends all the time by kissing and touching them without giving them a chance to fuck me or even jerking them off. Denial is a bit different than that.
Denial is when you tease a man and then deny his release (ejaculation). When you do this, you are leaving the guy in a very high state of arousal and this is exactly the point. The men who are denied can get angry, or even hostile towards you as you didn’t fulfill their expectations of ejaculation. But there are some benefits for men when it comes to denying their orgasm. All the energy they prepared for the ejaculation is now stored in them and can be used for other activities.
The tease and denial is a game and should be fun. Before you venture into this sort of stuff, you should communicate with your partner. Tell him what you want to do and see if that works for him and if he is willing to give it a go. Remember to relax and enjoy it and have as much fun as possible because that’s what it is all about.
Edging and orgasm control
Did you ever get close to an orgasm just for your man to stop or move a bit and you lose the momentum? Then you are just kind of hovering around the orgasm waiting for the next wave and riding it to the maximum pleasure only for him to cum before you have your orgasm? Well, we have all been there and it isn’t much fun because once the guy orgasms, he usually loses energy and interest in sex for some time.
Now you can do that to him also. Because there is no intercourse involved in edging and orgasm control, you can basically do whatever you want with him. Get him on the brink of an orgasm and just leave him there for as long as you want. You will see cum dripping from his cock but don’t give in. He will beg and you will see in his eyes that he is ready for a release but don’t indulge him.
Orgasm denial is a bit different from edging because you get him to the point of climax and just walk away. Touch him, stroke his cock, maybe even kiss it a couple of times and when he is ready for the orgasm, just laugh, stand up and get out of the room. This will leave him in a state of high arousal and the feeling of sexual frustration because he didn’t ejaculate and release the sexual tension that built up inside him.
A ruined orgasm is one of my favorite things to do to a man. The art of ruining an orgasm has to be perfected in order to have its maximum effect on a man. There are multiple ways of ruining an orgasm and I will get into them, but for now, you need to know that a ruined orgasm is when you let you men ejaculate but without him actually having an orgasm. You give him the time of his life and when he is about to cum, you just pause with everything. Don’t move a muscle, don’t even breathe and watch him struggle with the feeling of a ruined orgasm like a bitch you are.
How To Deny and Ruin An Orgasm Like A Badass B**ch
There is plenty to learn and even more to be told about this subject, but there are a few guidelines I can share, so you get an idea on where to start. Keep in mind that this should be consented by both parties in most cases. You should be communicating with your partner about this and maybe even set a few boundaries or rules on what not to do if that gets him really angry.
The Days Before
- The Build-Up (Sometimes take days)
The build-up is one of the most important things when it comes to teasing and orgasm denial. I usually start several days before I actually want him to orgasm and that gives me plenty of time to think about all the things I am going to do and prepare the whole act in the way I want it to go. This can be troublesome for some women because they can feel a lack of imagination and burden that everything is on their hands. The truth is that everything is in your hands and that is a good thing. Let go of the norms and standards and do whatever you want with him. Make a game out of it and you will soon think of new and exciting ways to build up the tension.
- Mind games
You don’t have to play only when you are together. You can start by sending him texts, leaving sexy voicemails or even sending him pictures of yourself in his favorite outfit while he is working or out with friends. This will stir his imagination and he will begin to fantasize about cumming and he will be completely wrong.
Always keep him guessing. Tell him that today is the day he cums and then don’t touch him the whole day. Then tomorrow, don’t say a thing but grab his cock whenever you can and just leave him hanging. This stuff has a huge impact on his psyche and can lead to even more sexual arousal and tension that you will later release. In a few days, perhaps.
The Big Day (Letting Him Cum)
The day of the orgasm has come. This is your moment to shine and have complete control over your partner. There is some advice I can give you on what to do on this day.
- Wear your sexiest outfit and lingerie
You must know what piece of clothing turns him on the most. He probably bought it himself and gave you as a present. When the day comes, dress up in the outfit he likes the most, put on the sexiest lingerie you have and let the show begin. Just stroll around the house and don’t pay any attention to him until you see in his eyes that he begs to touch you. Then do it some more.
I wear something like this for one of my boyfriends
- The massage
Tell him to undress and get a bottle of your favorite massage oil and start building that tension up. Massage his whole body, everything goes, but leave his cock untouched. It will be dripping with cum and rock hard from excitement but that is the point. Leave the cock until a little bit later. The idea is to get his whole body ready with the blood flowing throughout his every vein.
- Massaging his cock
Start by slowly massaging his cock. He will probably be rock hard already from the teasing and mind games you put on the days before, so don’t go fast or that might ruin the fun. Simply squeeze his cock a few times, maybe touch his balls a little and then leave him be for some time. You can jerk him off a bit, but slow is the key.
- The Kissing
Kiss him everywhere. Start from his neck and work your way bottom. Keep him guessing where you will go next. Reach his stomach, kiss the root of his cock and then completely ignore the rest while you move to his thighs. Then hang on there for a second before returning to his cock and kiss him all over. Do it gently.
- The blowjob
If you are not experienced yet, I would advise you to lay off the blowjob as it can be the fastest way for him to cum in the state he is in. If, however, you want to give him that satisfaction, you must do it slowly and with one or two sucks at a time maximum. This will prevent him from reaching climax.
- The outside of your body
Use your body as an instrument of teasing. Let him near your tits, butt, and pussy but never quite let him feel them or let him inside you. This will make him go nuts from desire. Remember that you are in complete control. Do this for as long as you want, I try for hours, sometimes on and off for the whole day.
- Penetration teasing
When you are done with teasing him by only looking, it is time to reward him with some contact. Let him almost inside you, then inside you but only a few inches, then all the way in and let him feel everything. When you see him bursting from sexual pleasure, stop it all and go back to just your hand.
- The finishing touches (Time To Ruin That Orgasm)
Usually, penetration teasing will be enough. He will be ready for the release of all the sexual energy that accumulated over the last few days and all the things you did to him that day. If he is not ready after the penetration teasing, repeat a few steps, take your time, there is no hurry when doing this.
The second you feel him about to cum, just hold his cock, don’t move a muscle, not until every last drop of his cum is out.
The tools I use (getting them out)
These are some of the tools I use to really build up the tension and arousal in my partner.
Cock ring: A cock ring (the cock ring I use) can be quite useful in this type of sexual plays as it can prolong the erection and keep the blood in the cock for a longer time. This simple but effective cock ring can be put on the cock quite easily with some water-based lube on an already erect penis. This is an easy to use, snug, and comfortable toy for your man that you both will enjoy. It’s suitable for men with a diameter of 0.8 to 2.5 inches in erect measures. If you want more options check this amazing list of cock rings (it’s also an amazing guide)
Magic wand with attachment: I love to use this magic wand attachment connected to this magic wand on my boyfriend every time I get the chance. It is one of the best male stimulation toys out there and I’ve never had any problems or regrets using it. This male masturbator is coated with nodules and ridges to stimulate the cock in the perfect way. It gives you total control over your man and you can do whatever you want to him with this bad boy. With a variety of different textures and sensations, this toy will never get boring. It can also help with your partners’ stamina if you practice it in a low setting.
Fleshlight: This is the wonderful Fleshlight I use and it is excellent for use in the bedroom. It can also be used to watch your man masturbate with it if that is your thing, but I prefer to have it in my hand and watch my boyfriend struggle with the immense feeling of sensation it provides. The lifelike vagina entrance adds to the whole scene and the tight, ribbed inner canal perfectly simulates the inside of a pussy. It also comes with a sample of lubricant and a renewal powder, so you don’t waste any time when it arrives.
Lube: This silk lubricant is what I use when I want to go without any toys on him (when he doesn’t deserve toys for being a bad boy). I lube his cock up with this extra silky lubricant and slowly start jerking him off until he is completely hard. Then I leave him alone until the lube is all dried up to repeat the process. It is a water-based lubricant for sex and foreplay. The hybrid formula contains a bit of silicone for a longer-lasting effect.
Delay spray: This delay spray works wonders for me every time. I’ve had a few guys that were a bit of premature ejaculators and it did ruin the fun once or twice until I heard about this amazing thing. I just spray a bit on the cock of my partner and we are good to go for as long as we want. It is a fast-acting formula and all it takes is three to four squirts, but that varies from man to man.
Restraints: These wonderful restraints can be quite useful when it comes to teasing and denial. Sometimes men will get so angry and frustrated that they can actually get aggressive. That’s where Bondage Boutique Black restraints come in hand. Strap him up with these lovely things and never fear of them getting loose. They are versatile in use and are capable of harnessing all the limbs on your partner for as long as you want.
If that is a bit too much for you, you can use these simple handcuffs that will have the same effect.
Bind his hands in front or on his back and watch him struggle while you deny his orgasms.
Blindfold: Sometimes a simple blindfold is enough to get your man going. Anything you think of can be used as a blindfold and it will improve the sex play as your man will not know where you are going next and will always be in the dark. Perfect if you ask me.
Now It’s Your Turn
I’ve tried to get you closer to the whole teasing and denial thing, but that’s as far as I can lead you. The rest is up to you.
Try some of the advice I mention above and see what you and your partner like best. Let me know in the comments if this thread has helped you and what you used from it. Have fun!
I’m Willow, I’m Brandon’s girlfriend and we run this blog together (with the help of some friends). We both have an open relationship and both love being kinky (I mean who doesn’t?). I love writing, music and my Womanizer. If you have any questions leave them in the comments.