Guide To Wax play and Finding The Perfect BDSM Candle

The stuff we are about to talk about in this article can be very dangerous for both parties if not done properly. That said, I am here to explain and guide you through all the things you should know before getting into wax play and the wonderful things it can bring you in the bedroom. 

Wax play is a form of BDSM practice but it can be said that it is on the intermediate or even advanced side of the spectrum. Even if you like being spanked or tortured (dominated or humiliated) there is no guarantee that you will like wax play. It is a thing on its own, so please make sure you read this article thoroughly and even research on your own a bit to see if you are up for this particular challenge.

Even when you read all you can find and ask people who have already done this sort of thing there can never be too much caution when playing with an open flame. I will try to walk you through everything to the best of my ability and I hope that will be enough to encourage or discourage you to give it a go.

What is wax play?

cartoon of candles

Even though the wax play is often associated with the BDSM community, it doesn’t mean that people who have no ties to the BDSM community don’t enjoy it. From a standard point of view, wax play is the art of dripping hot melted wax on other people’s skin for sexual enjoyment and arousal. The feeling of a hot drop of wax can be mind-blowingly sexy and can lead to the foreplay or sex of your dreams.

Keep in mind that I said dripping and not pouring, as it is a delicate procedure in which you want to have small drops of hot wax because things can get pretty messy really quick. Don’t get too excited and pour huge amounts of it on anyone as that would be pretty close to torture and the consequences can be severe. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want to be done to yourself. 

Warnings About Wax Play

warning of wax play

The main thing to know about the wax play is that not every candle can be used for this pleasurable act. This is because not all candles are created equal (duh) and there are numerous sorts of candles that are not suitable for skin contact. When I say not suitable I mean do not use them under any circumstance as they will cause irritation, damage, blisters or even wounds when they come in contact with the skin.

The reason behind this is that most candles you use in your everyday life are mixed with other materials or chemicals. For instance, you may find your table candle to be a delight to smell because it is scented but that means that it is a big no-no in the wax play world.

Also, dyed candles you find in your home are never to be used on human skin or any other skin for that matter as they also have chemicals in them.

The biggest problem in these candles is that the materials or chemicals used in making them can cause the temperature of the melted candle to be very high and thus cause big problems when using them on a naked body.

Now, if you never had any wax play or you have just begun your wax adventures, I would agree with most of the guides and say that there is only one sort of candle that is appropriate to use.

The sort I am talking about is most commonly referred to as Safety candles. These candles are basic, white, and soft on touch which means they have a low melting point. You can basically tell if the candle has a low or high melting point by the softness or the hardness. The softer they are on the touch the lower the melting point.

If you know a thing or two about the amazing things the wax play can provide and you felt the sting on yourself I will list a few other options on what to use and what not to use.

  • Soy candles (melt around 54 degrees Celsius or 135 degrees Fahrenheit)

    These are your typical go-to candles if you are just getting into the wax play. They have the mildest sting on the skin and have pretty low temperatures in immediate contact with skin. The wax is usually very soft, cools and hardens almost instantly which leads to them not being able to form pillars. The only downside is that they can be seen as too soft and can be difficult to clean up.
  • Paraffin candles (melt around 57 degrees Celsius or 135 degrees Fahrenheit)

    Paraffin candles in contrast to soy are a bit harder which means they can form pillars. They are also easier to clean up but they do pack a bit more punch on the contact with skin and can leave a blushing mark (which is normal for this sort of play) like when you take a hot bath or a shower. These are for a bit more intermediate users.
  • Beeswax candles (melt around 63 degrees Celsius or 145 degrees Fahrenheit)

    You would think that the difference of 6 degrees Celsius is not that much and you can handle it, right? Well, wrong. The difference is huge and therefore beeswax candles are never to be used in wax play. They can lead to skin damage, blisters or even open wounds if used on naked skin so please be advised against using them.

The Best Wax play Candle

different wax play massage candles

I absolutely love using this earthly body trio 3-in-1 candles and I would recommend them to both beginners and advanced users. They come in three tins and three different scents and flavors.

That’s right, they are edible and you can lick them from the skin of your partner from any part of the body you want. Each of the candles is infused with essential and botanical oils which ensure a great feel on the skin and no irritation. 

This Amazing Sex Candle

bondage candles

Here you can get these candles and they are awesome. The candles burn at a pleasant higher rate than normal wax play candles, they are for bondage play and should be used with a little more caution than the other candles on this list.

They are made from high-quality beauty wax and are perfect for people who enjoy a hotter stimulation.

They’re also a beautiful candle to play with, the length, the colors of the wax on the body and has a long burn time.

These are hotter than normal massage candles but cooler than home candles, this allows you to mark your partner’s body, these marks will last around 12 – 24 hours and will be a reminder of the pleasure you had the night before.

Another Amazing BDSM Candle

low tempreture bdsm candles

This beautiful set of low-temperature burning candles that will enhance your wax play in the bedroom.

Three different colored candles that burn at a pleasing 48-50 degrees centigrade and are completely safe to use on skin. They also come in discrete packaging which makes them perfect for gifting.

Edible Massage Candle

edible wax play candle

The strawberry lickable massage candle will make your wax play better than ever before and the cleanup will be more fun than ever.

Grab your partner and smear this lovely candle all over them and then use your tongue to lick them clean. Light this candle and fill the room with a strawberry scent and pamper your lover’s skin with 6 essential oil that are infused in the candle.

CBD Massage Candle

cbd candle

This CBD daily massage candle will awaken your most pleasant dreams with its blend of essential oils and cannabis oil. Its non-greasy formula will ensure that there is no slipping while massaging your lover and when you light it up you will smell only peppermint and rosemary all night long. 

Guide To Wax Play

cartoon guide to wax play

You might think that wax play is pretty straightforward, I mean, how hard can it be, right? Well, it can be pretty dangerous if not done properly and I will try to give you a few tips before you start your own kinky adventures.

Testing the candle on yourself

The first thing I want to say is that you should test the candle on yourself before putting it on your partner. Light the candle and put a few drops on the palm of your hand or your thigh.

This will give you an estimate of how hot it burns and how it will feel on your partner. Note that everyone has a different pain threshold so something that you find mildly hot can be very painful to others. Communication is key as it is to all BDSM types of play.

Get A Massage Tray, Latex Throw or an old sheet

Toys and tools are always good when practicing BDSM and wax play is no different. There are specially designed things to help you in your sessions and I am glad to list a few below.

Budget-Friendly Latex Sheet:

The best protection during your wax play you can find is this latex sheet. Its king-size will ensure that your bed will stay intact from wax and it is also usable on the floor, chairs, sofas, or anything else you want to use in your wildest sessions.

The material used for making it is PVC which ensures no fluid will penetrate its surface and no allergies will come up on your skin. The bright red color just begs to be used in all sorts of sex-related adventures. 

Massage Tray (Serious Play):

This vinyl massage tray is a thing of beauty and practical use. Its made from durable waterproof material and will ensure that your bed stays the way it is after every sex act you and your lover commit.

The inflatable borders allow no fluid to escape and you can relax and enjoy your bodily fluids like never before. Deflate the borders for easy storage and clean up and you will always go back to this massage sheet.

Wet Sheets (Highest Quality):

From Liberator we get these wet sheets & shams and I must say they are the best thing for any couple that loves to get down wet and dirty. Cover your bed and pillows with this amazing stuff and don’t worry about a thing while you moan and release every drip of bodily fluid you have.

The high quality of this PVC king-size piece of wonder ensures that no candle wax, oil, or lubricant will ruin any part of your bed and the feeling on the skin is incredible. A bit pricey but when you use it you will see why it is the best out there.

Restrain Your Partner (Optional):

There are no rules and limitations in BDSM and wax play is no different. If you and your partner love to fool around with bondage material then this set of under-the-bed restraints is perfect for you. With 4 separate cuffs, 4 separate bonding straps, and one 4-way strap for all cuffs there is no position you can’t try out. They are suitable for almost any size bed and the fastening mechanism is Velcro. 

Warm The Area Up With A Massage using oil

How long you take is up to you, the longer you massage the better the sensation. This adds a protective layer between the wax and the skin and makes it easier to clean up, also stops your skin from becoming dry.

The best way I’ve found to do this is to apply non-scenting oil and rub it gently all over the area you want to drip wax on. I would recommend coconut oil or baby oil for this.

When massaging build in some light foreplay and teasing

Massages can be one of the most arousing things you can do and it is a great way to get your partner hot and ready for some wax action.

Use your hands and tease your partner in the ways you know they like and get them horny for what you are about to do to them. Wax play is best practiced on a fully aroused body as that leads to the best feelings of sensation.

Put On Your Latex Gloves

These rubber latex gloves are made from vegan-friendly latex rubber and go all the way to your elbow which will ensure that your wax play will go without any unintended burns.

Wear them with a latex dress or your favorite outfit and leave your partner in awe when you surprise him.

Light The Candle and Start Pouring Wax

Use the lighter and start accumulating the wax before you start dripping. When the temperature drops a bit start pouring the wax on your partner and watch for their signals. Always listen to your partner and be careful with where you drip.

Where to pour the wax?

You can pour the wax practically anywhere on the body where you and your partner agree it is best. Different people find different parts of their body arousing and there is no consensus on what is best.

I find that the back is what works for me but it doesn’t have to be that way with everyone. The main thing to avoid is dripping the hot wax on the face or neck as the skin there is very sensitive and even the lowest temperature candles can leave marks and burns.

Candle Distance

The closer you are the hotter the wax will be, play with distance, but start a little over a foot away. Keep your partner guessing. Give them one or two drops from a foot away, then drop one from a close distance and watch them squirm from pleasurable stings. 

Avoid Areas With Lots Of Hair (Can be a pain to clean)

Shaving is highly recommended when using wax because the pain you will get from trying to remove it from the hairy parts of the skin will be excruciating. If by any means you enjoy the full-fledged pain of hair removal, be my guest and pour it where ever you like, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Painful hot wax

If your partner lets out a moan of pain, smear the wax on their body with your hand, it will spread it out and make it cool down almost instantly. Also, you can move the candle away from the body and thus reduce the temperature with which it hits the skin. Some people like to use a brush and instantly smear the wax over the skin to reduce its burn.

Other Heat Play Options

hot rocks and hot massage oil with text saying other types of heat play

Hot Rocks

These hot rocks from Lovehoney are a perfect thing to have in your temperature plays. If wax play is a bit much for you and you want to test yourself and your partner before trying it then these rocks are just the thing.

They come in 9 different shapes and sizes and are compatible with all lubricants and massage oils you can find. Heat them in a bowl of boiling water, dry and cool them off in a towel, and you are ready to go.

Hot massage oil

You will feel like a professional massage therapist while using this extremely delightful massage oil with all-natural ingredients. It’s made from natural body-enhancing ingredients and will soothe your skin in ways you never knew possible.

You can take it to the next level by heating it up and making it a little hotter than body temperature. It adds a whole new level to heat play.

I hope this article helped you decide whether the wax play is for you and your partner and I truly hope you will try it out because you might be missing out on a very fun activity. One more thing to remember is when you play with an open flame, always keep a fire extinguisher close by. Have fun!

One Comment

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  1. What burn cream(?) would you recommend? Preferable suitable for sensitive skin.
    I’d rather be safe than sorry, have it on hand and never need it than not have it and need it.

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