Ever since I was in my teen years, I loved spanking. My sex life then was pretty vanilla, but as I frequently changed boyfriends, I had to tell each one what I wanted him to do to me. It all boiled down to doggy style, with him spanking me on the ass and pulling my hair. That changed a bit around my 20’s when I met my then long term partner who was kinkier than I was and knew a thing or two about spanking.
He was older than me and was into BDSM and spanking long before we met, so he was quite experienced.
I didn’t know at first, but he already had a pretty large arsenal of toys at his home that included a flogger, a tickler, and a paddle. When I first laid my eyes on those wonderful things, I was in awe. I’ve never seen them up close or touched any of them to know what they felt like. I was instantly turned on and started imagining all the things he could do to me with those toys, and he saw it in my eyes.
Not long after, we started enjoying each other bodies with him slowly introducing toys as we went deeper into spanking. First, he started with his hand as I was already used to that, but then we got a bit serious as I was getting more and more comfortable. My sex life was never the same after that night and I will never forget all the naughty stuff I did with that boyfriend.
What Is Impact Play And Why Does Spanking Feel So Sexy?
Impact play is often related to BDSM practice as it is one of the submissive/dominant roles of a sexual relationship. Whether you like soft taps on buttocks or inner thighs or you are into hard rough spanking, it all falls into the same category of impact play. The crucial thing to know about it is that it absolutely needs to be consented by both parties and the rules are to be defined and agreed before any action takes place.
Spanking by itself can be quite erotic and sexy for the submissive party’s mind because it can be viewed as a sort of punishment. Subs can easily get into the role of the naughty girl/boy who needs to be punished for his actions and that can be quite a turn on. On the other hand, the act of someone slapping your ass during foreplay or sex can release the accumulated stress in your body, leaving you with only the feeling of being horny and excited, which can lead to some of the best orgasms you can have, if that is your thing.
Items You Can Spank With
There are numerous different items you can spank with ranging from simply using your hand to any flat surfaced (or non-flat) item in your household.
I would advise against using items that are not specifically designed for spanking as they may lead to injury or skin marks, which you don’t want, but to each their own. If using a broom-handle or a hairbrush turns you on, go for it but go gently and see what kind of consequences it may have on the body. The most usual items that are used in spanking are canes, crops, whips, ticklers, floggers, and paddles. We will get into each category a little more in the following text.
My Favorite Spanking Paddles, Crops, Canes, Whips And Floggers
These are the toys I can’t live without. I’ve picked the best from each category, so if you’re looking for a cane or paddle or just about any spanking tool I will have you covered.
If you are a beginner in the spanking practice, I would advise against using this canes as your first toy as they require a basic understanding of impact play safety and nerve placement.
That said, If you really want to try them out, you should approach them with absolute care to what you are doing. The pain they can produce is very sharp and strong, so be sure to communicate with your partner throughout the whole ordeal. Also, keep in mind to start with very slow and soft spanks to get a feel for how painful they can get. The feedback from your partner is most important in continuing.
BDSM Riding Crop
This riding crop is somewhere between a cane and a paddle. They are versatile in use with a variety of different tops that you can find. Depending on how much force you put behind the strike the tip can be very painful or a gentle tap.
There are two sensations you can produce when using a riding crop, First one is using the tip and the second one is using the rod itself. Using the tip is pretty straightforward and it all depends on how strongly you hit your sub, but using the rod is something you should do with care. The rod can be as painful as using a cane so be aware of that when spanking with it. Also, go gentle when spanking with the rod as it may break in half since it is not exactly made for that.
This is one of the best bdsm whips money can buy, however, whips are also not for beginner spankers as they are hard-to-control strands of different materials. You really should have a lot of training before using one on human skin, especially since they are designed to leave a trail of very painful sensation and quite the marks that go along with it.
However, if they are used by a professional, they can barely graze the skin in a small area or be used just for show with an according to dominatrix outfit. All in all, whips are not for those who do not enjoy pain.
This is one of my favorite ticklers and ticklers are what I would recommend to any beginner who wants to try some BDSM and spanking play. They are pretty softcore in this field and don’t tend to leave marks on the skin or be very painful so that you can use them with less caution than other toys in this area.
Ticklers are, as the name suggests, used for tickling your submissive partner and making them feel the sensations all over the body. They often have a long rod for using them from a distance. The more sensitive areas you choose, the better results you will get. Just keep in mind that these things can actually cause some pain if you use them for spanking, not because of the tickling tip, but because of the rod itself. Try to be aware of that when using them.
This rubber flogger is amazing, now floggers can have a different effect depending on the material and design and the way you use it. They can be used for a sensual massage or a mean spanking, it’s all up to you and your partner.
The lighter they are in weight, the more painful they are and vice-versa. They need a bit of practice to use correctly and it is pretty hard to explain how to wield them without a show-and-tell. You should try to find some guides in local sex-shops or on YouTube, which has quite a few tutorials on how to properly use them.
The most basic thing I can say for proper usage is it’s all in the wrist motion. The motions you should use include rolling the wrist, moving it back and forth, flicking it correctly and many more. It may seem easy, but aiming with a flogger is quite difficult and may result in hitting areas you didn’t intend to. Practice your flogger aiming on inanimate objects before moving on to the real stuff.
This is one of the most standard items to get your hands on and use correctly in spanking and this spanking paddle is unreal. They are something you are most likely to see in softer BDSM scenes and scenarios, as they are pretty easy to use, but don’t let them fool you – they can hurt and cause serious pain.
The level of pain produced depends on the design and material used – the more rigid they are the less pain they cause and the more flexible they are the pain is greater. Also, paddles that are made from faux fur will feel more like a massage, while paddles made from wood, silicone, or hard leather will provide a stinging sensation. They are pretty versatile, so make sure you experiment with different sorts of designs and materials and find the one that is perfect for your intentions.
My Boyfriend Spanked My Ass So Well (Guide and Advice)
Since I really love spanking and over the years I have had some great experiences (and some bad) I would like to share them with you, so you get a pretty good idea on how it all goes.
Before I continue, I would like to point out this Reddit thread as it has quite a few good stories and advice you can pick on.
Hand spanking to start
When spanking, I often like to start with a simple hand slap or two with my partner. It doesn’t exactly feel like when doing it with toys, but it helps in bonding us and making me feel more connected to him, before moving on to serious play.
Warming up the spanking area is pretty important. You should always start with gentle slaps on the area you want to go harder on in your sessions. It is recommended that you start spanking on areas with clothes on and remove layer by layer as your spanking progresses.
Where to spank
It is really important to know where to spank and with how much force. The buttocks are the best area to spank as it has the most fat that serves as a cushion to protect the skin from damaging blows and there you can spank stronger when it is warmed up. Below that, you should go a bit softer to prevent damage. Never, and I mean absolutely never spank above the buttocks as that may lead to the risk of damaging kidneys and the tailbone.
Pick the right position
The position in which you are spanking can depend on your preference and actually, there are no strict rules, but there are a few recommended positions. You can do it on the bed with your sub laying on the elbows and you behind.
There is a diaper position in which the sub raises his/her legs above the head (you can help out a bit by holding them) and you slapping the butt. Over the knee position is when you bend your sub over your knees and make her feel like a naughty little girl getting punished for something. And lastly, you can do it by having the sub standing against an object with you spanking from behind. The possibilities are truly numerous and depend on your imagination.
Pick your toy of choice
Whether you like it with just the hand or with a toy, it’s all up to you. Experiment with your partner and find out what works best for both of you and you will get the most enjoyment out of a spanking. Communication is key.
Don’t be afraid to experiment with dirty language, either. Some submissive partners get really horny when you talk dirty to them or bring insults to your bedroom play. There is nothing more exciting to me than when my partner punishes me with some extra name-calling.
You should always agree on rules and conditions in your spanking play. Rules can make it extra spicy when it comes to spanking. For example, you can agree on a rule if the sub makes a noise you go harder.
- Have some sort of treats for being well behaved
- Don’t forget aftercare
Spanking can be quite intense activity and it requires some sort of aftercare for your partner when you are done. This can include cuddle and comforting, some soothing lotion for the spanked areas or a nice drink or dinner for your partner.
The Pussy Spanking Guide (Extra Kinky)
Not all spanking is for the butt. For some women, the excitement of spanking their pussy is far greater and leads to extreme horny conditions and intense orgasms.
Some of the guidelines you should follow in pussy spanking are:
- Oil her up – Use a lubricant if you will be using toys for spanking. If you are going by hand baby oil is enough
- Make sure you cover the whole pussy in the lubricant. The oil can increase the sounds your slaps produce, which will lead to more stimulation in her brain.
- Start by slowly rubbing her pussy and clit and then give her a flick or two over the clit to let her know what’s coming.
- Continue to rub her pussy but more firmly all the way from the top to bottom to stimulate all the nerve endings.
- Start slapping that juicy pussy. Don’t go hard all the way, few gentle slaps are all it takes to get a reaction from her.
- Watch her body and signals that she gives you. Keep up the rhythm (one slap a second is good for starters)
- You will know you are doing the right things when you see her back arched and hips thrusting. Then you may continue to a harder slapping.
- Lick her pussy in between your slaps. Keep her guessing.
- Go back to slap her with some force.
- End off by inserting your hard dick and pounding her pussy from inside. The stimulated nerve endings will make her crave for a pounding.
DIY Spanking Toys
If you can’t afford the toys above, or you want to have a little taste of spanking before you spend money, worry not. Many of the household items you have can be used for a good spanking. The “do it yourself” spanking toys or “pervertables” as they are also called are within your reach.
Kitchen utensils, hairbrushes, spatulas, wooden spoons, rolled-up newspaper and many more can fulfill your spanking desires and have a pretty close effect like the toys above. Keep in mind that most of these are not made for spanking and will probably be more on the “ouch” side of the spectrum. Also, they were not made for spanking, they will likely result in breaking the object in use.
Spanking Stories (Might Give You Some Ideas)
I was spanked by an “expert” spanker last night
This story is told by a horny girl who was finally slapped the way she never thought possible. Very good technique from the guy gave her the best slap and fuck she ever got and it is highly recommended that you read it.
Girls who like being spanked, why?
This thread is a Q&A section that will answer almost all of your questions if you have any. Many of the stories and comments are pretty open-minded and will give you a basic understanding and underlining of why spanking is so popular amongst some of the girls.
Embarrassed about my spanking fetish.
If you are embarrassed by your spanking fetish, don’t worry, you are not alone. This subreddit will give you a glimpse into other people’s minds that share your embarrassment and hopefully will give you insight on how to overcome your fears and prejudice.
As you see, there is more to spanking than meets the eye and I hope I cleared some of the unknowns of the spanking world.
I’m Willow, I’m Brandon’s girlfriend and we run this blog together (with the help of some friends). We both have an open relationship and both love being kinky (I mean who doesn’t?). I love writing, music and my Womanizer. If you have any questions leave them in the comments.